Don't read this.

I've thinking about killing myself for a while. Why? Sounds like a good idea to me and things could be easier. But, anyway, if I tell something about it, people insist tagging me as a selfish person who doesn't understand each others feelings, but I do. I understand YOU don't understand the way I feel and the way I want to stop feeling me. If I have to be clear, what I'm trying to say is that I hate myself and every way and I don't think this is gonna get better or something. I do believe in people, I think they're good af, but I do understand that that's not true and I'll be let down every time I will hope something good.

I don't hate everyone. I have two baby nephews and a dog - my best friend actually is the dog -, but let's talk about the people, and by people I mean every person I've met. They all have disappointed me somehow, and that's my fault, I know, but why would I want to live in a world where people are not the way I expected? To me, it means I just don't get people; I can't understand people.

Anyway, I'm 24 years old, and I'm getting older and should be growing up soon as a person. Maybe these feelings will stop eventually. Maybe they will not. I have a friend that makes me feel better with myself, but it's a pill and it's name is pristiq (an antidepressive). To be honest, it does make feel better, but it doesn't change the way I feel or the way I think.

I know, life doesn't suck, but people do, and I hate myself for being part of that people.

ps: This is not a suicidal note.
ps2: It's not, I promise. If I die soon, believe me, I wasn't expecting to be dead by now. It was a coincidence.
ps3: English? Yes, I totally suck wrinting in english, but you know what? I think my mom could get here and I don't want her to talk to me as the victim she's in every conversation we have.